Day 6: Breakups & Breakdowns
It is time to explore some of the more painful connections in life, those that are formed with lovers. The cords you form with lovers are most likely the strongest cords in your life; you connect the most intensely with your lovers through the exchange of passion and the quality of time you spend together is unlike that of anyone else in your life. You will tend to spend more time with your lovers than anyone else as well, even if that connection over the phone, Facebook, email, etc. They are on your heart and mind in ways that no one else ever will be. So what happens when that connection ends?
When you go through a breakup, it is painful for everyone involved. The cord that the two of have formed with one another is strong and pulling on each of you, just as it did while you were together; the problem with this is that the energy that your cord is now passing back and forth is full of resentment, pain and all the emotions that both of you are feeling. The bond you once shared has become the source of pain, and the energy being shared has turned toxic, but you can't just rip out the cord you share and make everything alright; in fact, if you try to do that you will make things worse. In order to truly heal from the wound that this breakup has caused, you must release your lover with love, appreciating everything about them. Only then will the two of you be able to heal and truly move on.
Breakdowns are a different story altogether. While the focus of The Relationship Detox is on the people in your life, the program would not be complete without exploring all the things that can drain your energy. Breakdowns happen, it's part of life; however, the fact that they often linger in your memory doesn't have to be. When you go through a breakdown (whether that is a communication breakdown with someone in your life, the death of someone close to you, the loss of a job or anything that leaves you feeling loss or pain of some kind), often the place where you went through it will stay with you, draining your energy and holding you back just like any other relationship. You have formed a cord with these places just like you do with the people of your life and if they are not released, you will experience the same effects as you will with any other cord that attaches you to something else in your life.
There is no limit to where breakdowns can happen, so there is no limit as to where these cords can attach: Cars, houses, towns or cities, vacation spots, even sentimental objects that held some special meaning for you can fall into this category. You don't have to search for these cords, usually you will know what they are right away - you will most likely have a memory of where you were when the breakdown occurred; a vivid memory that sticks with you even years after the breakdown has been resolved.
Whether you are dealing with a breakup or a breakdown, it is common to feel as though you have moved on. You may have had several relationship since your first breakup - you might even be friends with your ex-lovers, but that doesn't mean the cord has been released. It is important, especially if you have any kind of existing relationship with your ex-lovers, that you release the cord that you shared when you were together. If you don't, both of you will be trying to relate to each other as friends while you are still connected as lovers, and that can get complicated. When you are with a new lover and they get jealous of the friendship you share with your ex, one main reason is because they are sensing this connection that still exists between you. When you release what was you can create a fresh connection and clear up and confusing energy that might be lingering.
Anytime you experience a breakdown, remember:
A breakthrough is coming!
Every breakdown is a breakthrough waiting to happen.
1. Sometimes the cords that exist with ex's can manifest as physical pains or aches due to the constant pull energetically. What are some of the areas of your body where you often get aches and pains? Do you get a sense of who or what may be stuck there?
2. Write out a list of you ex-lovers. Pick the top three to detox from tomorrow.
3. What are some of the memories you are holding related to breakdowns that have occurred in your life? What lessons have you learned from these experiences? Are these connection serving you in any way?
4. (Optional) Pick the top three breakdowns you have experienced in your life and use the Outer World Detox to release them after you have released your past lovers.
Today is all about The Outer World Detox. Use the recording to detox from your top three friends and enemies - the list you created yesterday.