Day 5: Friends & Enemies
The next step in your journey through the Outer World brings you to the people you love and the people you love to fight with: your friends and enemies. The cords that connect you to these people may not be quite as thick as those with your family, but chances are that these cords are stronger. While your family has been a part of your life most frequently, your friends and enemies usually have the most intensity - you have shared experiences that have had a significant impact on your lives. Also, you choose to keep these people in your life, unlike your family which often brings up a sense of obligation.
Your friends are often the ones who will lift you up when you need someone to support you. They usually know you better than your family does and the bond you share is different than the bond you share with anyone else. While some of the things you go through with your friends shape the course of the rest of your life - whether they are huge breakthroughs, traumatic situations, adventures that alter the course of your life, or anything else - the problem can be the clinging to those experiences.
When you grow in a significant way with someone else, it is normal to form a bond as the two of you share the journey together; however, you will not always be on the same path of growth. Eventually, the two of you will have to go your separate ways in order for you to continue growing. If you don't release the cord that attaches you, your friend will tend to pull you back down to their level when you start to grow in a different way or at a faster rate than them. This action is usually not malicious (nor conscious), it is simply a matter of attachment; they are attached to a version of you that you might have outgrown. The two of you still love each other and you are still friends - that does not have to change. It is simply time for your relationship to take on a different form.
Enemies are a whole different story, and if you are sitting there saying, "I don't have any enemies, I love everyone;" reframe the word "enemy" to someone that is challenging in your life or someone whose presence irks your in some way. There is a reason these people are in your life: they are showing you something about yourself that you want to change; some quality about yourself that might bring up shame, guilt or some other emotion that you do not find excellent. You can learn more about yourself from these people than you will from any other relationships in your life, you just have be willing to look at what is there to see.
The old saying, "Keep you friends close and your enemies closer," can be very useful in the context of learning about yourself. When you can take an objective look at the reasons these people are your enemies, you will discover things about yourself that you can change. When you are able to go through this transformation, oftentimes these people that were once your enemies will become some of your greatest friends. As it stands, the relationship you have with these people now has developed a strong cord that ties the two of you together. Just like your friends, the intensity that you experience with your enemies has strengthened the cord between you, but instead of simply letting this one go, it is important that you first look at the reasons you have become enemies.
No matter who you encounter throughout your life, remember:
Everyone has something to teach!
You can learn something from everyone if you are willing to take the time to listen.
1. Divide a piece of paper down the middle, on the top of one side write, "Friends" and on the other, "Enemies." Call all your friends to mind and write out all the traits you love about them, all the reasons you are friends on one side. Then, call your enemies to mind and write out all the traits about them, all the reasons you don't get along with them.
2. Reflect on your list from above, everything under "Friends" are the traits you love about yourself, or traits that you desire for yourself. Everything under "Enemies" are the traits you want to change about yourself.
What are some common themes you notice about the "Friends" column? The "Enemies" column? How do you feel seeing the things you love about yourself? The things you want to change?
3. What is one thing from your list that you commit to transform within yourself? Why is it important for you to change this right now? What is one action you can take in that process today?
4. Make a list of your friends and enemies. Pick the top three (you can do three from each list if you choose). Then listen to the Outer World Detox and release the cords you have with them.
Today is the day! The Outer World Detox is now available, use it for the next few days. You will have the opportunity to detox with 3 people at a time; use it as many times as you need to. Also, keep using the Daily Detox to clear away any lingering energy from your day each day.